Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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