Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
