how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
