Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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