would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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