I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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