So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
