Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
