i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
