yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
