Already got asked if we're dating
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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