Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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