I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
