There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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