Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
