It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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