they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
