just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we're chasing vodka with high fives
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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