I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
