PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
