I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Someone came in the potted fern
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
