Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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