her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
