It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
