I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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