had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
