i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
