You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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