just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
