O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
