My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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