Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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