How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
