vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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