I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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