would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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