Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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