his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
