im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
