My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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