I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
