He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
