Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
