We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
