When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
