So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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