I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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