I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
