How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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