And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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