I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize