Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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