why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
