My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
