i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If its not for food we ain't going out.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
