you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
