Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
