i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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