Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
