dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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