some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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